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Last night in bed, I was thinking to myself as I got warm under the covers, the taste of anniversary cake still on my tongue.  "Don't get fat, zygote" was the thought that surfaced.  Having diabetes, I was worried that sugar right before bed, instead of milk or toast with whatever, would screw up even the basic blocks of development, or cause serious growth that leads to a premie, or something like that.  It was not "I hope I don't have a fat child" but more like "please develop normally even though sometimes I have more sugar than I should."  It was the first thought actually directed at the tiny group of cells currently hopefully multiplying in my womb.

Rick and I started trying to get pregnant on his 41st birthday, or perhaps a day or two after because I was too stuffed from the River Rock Casino's all-you-can-eat buffet, even *with* following good eating principles.  There was a period in July, so that didn't take, and my doctor had said that she'd give me 6 months of trying before she'd start to discuss alternate treatments to get pregnant.  At my age, with my history of irregular periods, perhaps I had fewer eggs to begin with or not a lot left, and also being diabetic we want to be very careful of everything.  She uses scare tactic a lot, I think, but is all about helping me achieve our goal of having a baby and maintaining my good health.

I think we had more sex in August than in the three months prior.  *grin*  Okay, okay, maybe the two months prior.  Anyway, in August we had our camping 10 days with a bunch of friends (once), the following week of packing and schlepping boxes to the new place, packing weekend, loading and unloading of Lonnie's van, inaugurating the new place (two rooms), more packing and moving, and finally being out of the old place entirely.  Somewhere in there, maybe as early as the first week of August, my body caught what his body was pitching and it's all come together.  I took 2 digital tests, both of which said "yes."  I started to have a feeling the week before; I felt a twinge that I thought might be PMS, but there was no outcome.  After 5 days of no outcome, I was suspicious.  I bought the tests after Tami commented that wasn't it time for me to menstruate, since we're pretty close in cycles?  *chuckle*  This is why it's good and bad to have close girlfriends - they'll remind you of important things, but now I have to put off any other questions she may have for about two months.

I don't want to spill the beans early.  I'm trying to make an appointment with my doctor for this week, because she's said repeatedly that as soon as I know I'm pregnant I should be off the Metformin and on insulin to manage my diabetes, so I stopped taking the Metformin as of last night just in case.  I don't know if it does damage, or it's just not sufficiently tested and since it's not actually insulin it's better not to take a chance.  I don't know what kind of significant chromosomal damage can be done this early, but why risk any more than the situation dictates?

I'm 37; I'll be 38 when the child is born.  There are inherent risks to a first pregnancy at this age.  Then there's being diabetic; I don't know if there are more risks in that for the baby or for me.  Eventually I think Rick should come with me to one of my doctor's appointments so he can get updated on this type of thing first-hand instead of second-hand.  Even if somehow two tests are wrong, it's better to know.  However, my body is an amazing machine: once I pay attention to it, it seems to work pretty well.  Since the end of May, I've lost about 20 lbs (not sure exactly to date) by eating better and exercising a ton more than I have in the last three years.  All I have to do now is keep that up for the rest of my life and I hope to be doing okay well into (and past) my 90's.

I am pregnant.  That's damn cool.  I'm so incredibly psyched for this pregnancy.  I've wanted to be pregnant for a while now and I'm actually looking forward to all the changes that will happen.  I'm wary of the possible problems, but I'll do everything in my power to make this baby healthy and prepare both of us for its birth and beyond.


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October 2013

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